reprisal

Every so often I revisit my obsession for India.  It's back with vengeance.  All I want to do is wear my nasty silk saris in 120 degree weather, drink 8 lukewarm water bottles, and be completely unsatisfied with the time I'm spending in the Word.

Seriously.  I remember feeling like three hours reading my Bible and praying was just a small part of my daily itinerary.  Now it seems as though three minutes is a significant commitment (keep in mind it's three minutes of Bible after having watched Iron Man - maybe it's because I think Tony Stark is a fox).  Whenever I watch Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (yeah, I know, I'm weird.  I own a Bollywood movie.) I remember the days of suffering in the heat and offering God something that was far more worth while than what I offer the Almighty these days.  When surrounded by darkness and oppression, it seems like a dependence on God is far more necessary.  Most of the time I feel self-sufficient and I count on my God-given intuition to guide me in decision making.  I wish I wouldn't. I wish I couldn't. Maybe I just need the accountability of India to keep me falling to the feet of grace.

Ok, I don't really have anything else to say about that. Mostly all I can think to say right now is:
1. I'm excited - so excited - to go to Vegas this weekend.  Thank you Living Social for your cheap deals.
2. I just started reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and will attempt to finish it by its due date.
3. My next big sewing project - reupholster my sister-in-law's chair that I now claim as my own.
4. Have to start packing so I can live with my puppies.  Finally. Firefox and Curly White. April and Makena.
5. Miss my family in Africa.  So much. I might move there.

apathy? ambivalence? arrogance? acceptance!

I don't know what it is about Spring/Summer beginning but it seems to make everyone go crazy.  Late night TV is ruined by P90X infomercials (except for the guys doing the work out. That's worth it) and NutriSystem advertisements (no attractive men).  But mostly all I hear is an unwillingness to accept ourselves as we've been created.  I get the "be healthy/your body is your temple" thing, but we've taken that way above and beyond.  The problem is that we are focusing on our bodies being temples; maybe instead we should focus on being the temples.  Where is God in all of this? Is God amidst our selfish thoughts? Our inferior pride? How are we glorifying God by telling the Almighty/ourselves/others we are not beautiful? In whose image were we created? I accept myself and love myself, but most of all I love the God I serve.

On a totally unrelated note, my boss at Starbucks told me he's giving me more hours because I'm doing awesome and learning a lot. Yes. Affirmation is great.

landlord: day two

Just an update.  

They are back.  With a furry vengeance.

Here are the pictures.  As I make my voyage north for my cousin's wedding, I will leave the light on in hopes that it makes scrambled eggs. I know, I know - evil.  Just call me Voldemort.

Also; before and after pictures.

the landlord

Today I became a landlord; evicting is not my thing.

Over the past week I've noticed a slow collection of toilet paper, twigs, mud/dirt, and odd striped stringy things (I think that's the official term).  My suspicions were rising. I had a feeling my tenants were up to something fishy and I wasn't going to let it happen.  At some point I noticed it had been completely cleaned and so I thought, Good.  Now I don't have to do anything. I hate confrontation.  However, the next morning I looked outside only to find even more (sorry) crap outside.  Keep in mind this mess was (and I mean was) right outside MY door.  Anyway, I couldn't handle it anymore so I decided to finally take some action.

I had a bit of an internal struggle.  I sometimes wish I was as natural and earthy as one of my dear friends, and I contemplated whether or not she would get rid of these piles.  After all, this particular tenant eats mosquitoes and would therefore help "eradicate malaria."  I, however, being far less compassionate and earthy, waited until they were gone; believe me, I made sure they were gone.  Then I removed the scraps and said farewell to my tenants.  Here are some pictures for your reference.

And good riddance.

whoever said fortune cookies lied?

So the other day I went to Panda Express with the gift card my mom gave me.  Despite the phrase "It's a sign" my mom and I jokingly coined and recited whenever something remotely coincidental happened, I typically do not hold to any superstitious beliefs. That being said, the fortune cookie I received at PE that day was cruel and... sigh... true.  I tried to ignore the urge to blog about said fortune but eventually had to give in to the epicness that this cookie brought.  So without further ado, my fortune:

Cherish home and family as a special treasure.

Done and done.

Isn't it funny how something so flippant can come to you in a most meaningful way?  Perhaps it's a sign.

abused and underused

Well, tomorrow will mark day two (count 'em, two) of subbing.  My first day subbing was Monday and it was... interesting.  The school was more diverse than I anticipated, which was fine, but considering I was in for a high school BIOLOGY teacher, I was a little nervous.  Two subjects I am not well versed in - high schoolers and science.  I must have done alright because one of the students told me I was "chill."  I used that word in junior high.  Shouldn't it be out of style by now?  Anyway, all in all, the day went fairly well.  I took notes and have set up new rules for myself as I continue to pursue my short-term career as a (chill) substitute.

That brings me to tomorrow.  A half day of teaching physical education. I will let you in on my thought process here: how have I gotten two jobs I'm totally not qualified to teach?  When I figure out the answer I will let you know.

I'm thankful for this job (and by job I mean each individual opportunity I have to sub).  Being dependent on God to provide a different job everyday is scary, unsettling, and nerve-racking; being dependent on God to provide a different job everyday is exciting, intimate, and relationship-strengthening.  So, thank you Lord, for providing me with a job tomorrow and more importantly, for teaching me to be completely dependent on you.

life is like a cup of starbucks

I am a fairly laid-back person.  Stress is not my friend and so I choose not to invite it in my house.  Being faced with sudden anticipation of having to pay the bills (phone, car/health insurance, rent, etc.) while not having a job really doesn't allow much room for a stress-free life.  I spent a good three weeks at home resting and packing and avoiding being an adult.  Now that I'm looking adulthood in the face, I know that I'm going to need to grow up.  I have depended on my parents as my foundation for 23 years and it's time for me to be radically obedient to my true Foundation. It is so easy to trust in what we have and what is concrete... but what happens when the ground from under us is stripped away?  The gratefulness in my heart toward my parents thus far in my life is immeasurable - but let me add more - I am grateful that my parents are leaving because they are helping me become truly and wholly dependent on God.  Not only am I grateful to them, but to God; for being gracious and allowing me to have this transitional time to become an adult and for providing me with a job (or two).

I asked God to allow me to work as a substitute teacher (check) and at Starbucks (check).  More importantly, I am now asking God to show me why I am working there.  What am I doing to glorify God in my work or in how I interact with my coworkers?  Right now, all I can do is ask these questions and be thankful that God has honored my desire to live a stress-free life - at least for now.

moving out

Well, my parents are cleaning house getting read for the big move to Africa.  I have thoroughly packed up everything I own and cleaned out my room.  Though I should probably be in hysterics, I feel peace about the whole situation.  Not knowing when I will be employed or where to store my things keeps me dependent on God, but altogether I have high hopes for whatever plans the Almighty might have.  Being an adult certainly isn't all it's cracked up to be - since when do 20-somethings have to look at life insurance policies?  Despite my mentality that I'm still in high school, I'm obliged (can you tell I've been reading Austen) to engage in grownup things like insurance, rent, phone bills, etc.  


Back to my parents moving to Africa.  It seems everything I hear or read relates to my parents leaving.  I'm thrilled that my parents are doing what they are doing but I can't seem to stop my eyes from embracing tears whenever I hear something that relates.  At church yesterday I had to stop singing a hymn for fear of an all-out cry sesh in the middle of worship.  The culprit? A Mighty Fortress Is Our God. The words? See below.


Let goods and kindred go,
this mortal life also;

the body they may kill; 
God's truth abideth still; 
his kingdom is forever.

Amen and amen.  

my name is khan

I just watched a movie called My Name Is Khan and it was fantastic.  I know not everyone enjoys international films and few people think reading your movie is fun, but it is so worth it.  Very few movies portray many different views and opinions that will allow us to come to our own conclusions - we are spoon-fed ideas and expected to take them and adapt them without question.  My Name Is Khan is a film that represents all types of people; Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Republicans, Democrats, adults, children - you name it.  Regardless of our religious beliefs, we should refuse to take part in stereotyping individuals based on the way they look.  Being vulnerable is not easy, but we need to remember that opening up and taking risks is a part of life and we cannot function in community with others unless we are willing to be vulnerable.

So basically, you should watch the movie.